I rarely write blog articles out of boiling emotions, but at some point, it is always the first time. Even if I am pulling the Deutsche Post and DHL through the cocoa as an example today, this “thank you for your understanding” has bothered me for a long time. Whether – as in this case – at a closed post office or on the signs at the end of a construction site on the motorway, after spending a lot of time in a traffic jam but not seeing a construction worker. How can someone simply assume that I understand a decision or situation and thank them blindly for it? For me, this phrase has something to do with the zeitgeist and attitude of our society and the daily interaction in the world of work and also in private life. My harmless post-experience today stands symbolically for situations and encounters with other people and their attitudes, which I have become more and more aware of recently and which make me very thoughtful. But one after another. It all started on Thursday last week.

“We apologize for this and thank you for your understanding.”

It often happens that this little yellow note with the adhesive tape spat out of the belt printer of the DHL courier ends up in our mailbox: “Unfortunately we couldn’t find you, your package is waiting for you at the post office. Pick-up on Friday not before 2 pm. ” I hoped that it wasn’t the 12 bottles of wine that I recently ordered. The branch is just a 5-minute walk away, so actually no problem. So on Friday, I went to pick up my package.

The branch’s automatic sliding door is closed and the lamellar curtain is drawn behind it. I discover a message on the inside of the window that the branch is temporarily closed. My first thought: They must have been attacked. The old bank trainee will probably get through with me.

I read the notice in detail. And there it is again: “We apologize for this and thank you for your understanding.” Pay attention to how often someone simply thanks them for your understanding, without having a clue whether you really understand the situation. More on that later.

Then a new attempt on Saturday. Close the door. Same note. Next to it, however, there is now another small piece of paper, written by hand: “Monday, 9.5. open again! ” At least I was smarter now – at least I thought. You guessed it: the same picture on Monday. Not quite, because the little additional note was torn off. You can imagine that after three attempts my understanding was very limited.

Where is the understanding for the customer?

I got on the phone. In the first attempt, I had a broken German-speaking employee on the number of the customer service of Deutsche Post / DHL, to whom I (no lie!) Dictated the shipment number seven times until he still had not found the package. But I just wanted to know when the branch will open again or what I can do to get my package. The fact that it is conveniently located in the rear storage room would not have been news.

The customer service was not informed that the branch is closed and that couldn’t be. The employee explained to me that I should wait until it opened again and gave me the opening times, which he apparently got displayed in the system. Yes, they are also on my collection slip. I didn’t feel like being (literally) not understood anymore and it got loud.

Second attempt. The call center is so big that you always catch someone else. So it was: a woman this time. I kindly explained the matter to her. At least she found my package immediately under the tracking number. I wanted to know why the branch was closed and who could tell me when it would open again. “We are not responsible for customer service or the branches!” she replied briskly. When I asked who was responsible, she had no answer. Instead, it continued in the defined group process: “I will record a complaint.” I asked you what this complaint would do for me if no one could get the package. She didn’t know that either, but the employees who process the complaint would get in touch. When? – ” I have no idea!” Because she doesn’t edit it any further. Since she was now also snappy and loud, I had her name given to me – but what’s the use if you can’t get someone on the line who is responsible, let alone can solve my problem?

I’m a fox – I thought – and went looking for a phone number on the Postbank website. If Deutsche Post/DHL is not responsible for the branches, then Postbank may be. It was written on the bottom of the printout on the door. I found a number that should even be intended for complaints: “Say 1 if you would like information on online banking or 2 if you would like to be connected directly to online banking.” … ONE! … “Please understand that we will only establish contact after you have entered your legitimation with your account number and PIN.” No, as a non-Postbank customer, I have just answered that no understanding! – Understandable, right?

What this phrase says about the zeitgeist, corporate culture, and personal attitude

I once again got the feeling that corporations love processes that do not allow any exceptions. That the customer service staff could not muster any understanding (and there it is again!) For my situation as a customer. I wonder what the employees of the branch (I will come to that later) and also the customer service over the phone would have done if their own, urgently expected parcel got stuck somewhere for an indefinite period and nobody in a service company feels responsible for it.

This little experience, as you all have probably already experienced in contact with service providers, is a bit typical of our time for me and that’s why I’m writing about it here today. Many companies pride themselves on corporate social responsibility, employer branding and want to be among the top employers. Your processes are future-proof, after all, we are in the middle of digitization. A modern global group with a fresh coat of paint.

If, however, as a customer – and many of you, dear readers, know me and know that I am a quiet contemporary – I am approached loudly by overwhelmed employees at three points of contact, then it has something to do with culture, attitude and manners in general Companies to do – at least I put this hypothesis here.

Nobody was really interested in my concern. I felt like the stupid, annoying customer who should just be patient for an indefinite period of time. Because today problems just disappear into thin air? An attitude that I cannot accept. But thank you in advance for my understanding!

I find it terrifying that, from my perception, more and more employees today – not only in corporations – follow dutifully defined processes in the workplace, do not assume any responsibility (by the way, not for themselves!), cast off all empathy, their own Turn off your mind and do duty by the rule. Who taught you that? Or where and when did you decide yourself that this is exactly right and good for you?

Understanding is based on understanding

I was there again Tuesday afternoon. Open. Three employees behind the counter, a line of 15 customers in front of me. I hear an older man loudly berating the women. Yes, that was definitely not a nice day for the employees there – or are they still civil servants?

It was my turn and got my package. I asked politely what was the reason for the closure. I just wanted to understand why I’d been taking a walk for the past three days to no avail. “Lack of staff. If no one is there, then we cannot open it! ” it came towards me. Yes, we all get sick, and maybe with this nice weather and the bridge day, several employees fell ill out of the blue. I told her that I would have found it helpful if she wrote on the notice “because of staff shortages” would have. Because understanding comes from understanding and I would have liked to understand it to be able to understand. I think that was way too philosophical because I found out pertly: “We only have one form, you can’t write something like that in there!”

The “handing over responsibility” method reached its climax. I gave up. How nice it would have been to say “We’re sorry that you won’t receive your package until 5 days later”. Maybe there is still someone out there who decides to take responsibility and wants to take a stand on it.

Understanding is based on clarity

My personal experience can be transferred to what many clients describe to me from their working life today: responsibility is threatened with extinction, a lack of clarity between bosses and employees is the main cause of conflicts as a result of misunderstandings and Hardly anyone makes the effort to understand a perspective other than one’s own in the hectic pace of everyday life.

And so it happens that board members announce new strategies or cost-saving measures to the workforce or bosses make unpleasant decisions without providing clarity and they are surprised the next moment that the workforce uncomprehending the barricades go.

If I expect others to understand my decision, way of thinking, or acting, then I have to take responsibility and first of all create clarity about my individual perspective, the motives for action, and the goals of the desired consequences of my action.

If an employee at the post office had decided to take on responsibility, it would have been easy in my opinion to create clarity for the customers – even if there is neither a process nor a form.

Because only those who give others the chance to understand their behavior can hope for their understanding. Oh yes: hope. Because whether I really understand is still my decision.